Critical ways that parents can make a difference along the way
At RingTrue, we like to say that college admissions success takes equal effort from both parents and students. Whether your child is sill in their elementary years, or is in the middle of their college applications as we speak, consistent parental involvement throughout your child's education adds up, making it easier when it comes time to think about the college search and admissions process.
But exactly what kind of effort does that mean for parents? RingTrue has identified several key areas where you can make a difference from early education through high school.
Early Discussions
It's absolutely never too early or often to start positive discussions around college with your child. As young as preschool and kindergarten, and continuing through high school, parents can bring college into the conversation by emphasizing the importance of education and focusing on each child's academic potential. In addition, parents can use conversation to tie success in college and careers to strong grades, reading and good study habits. Middle school and beyond is the perfect time to dig more into the details, sharing with kids the joy and independence college brings. It's also the time to start discussing the link between GPA and scholarships, and why a deep understanding of our own strengths, personality and preferences will be important to future success.
Hold Children Accountable To A High Academic Standard
With GPA being the most important factor in college admissions, focusing on a child's personal best in academics – and providing positive support and accountability – is key to success. This does not mean putting high pressure on your child to "get straight As," which is likely to provoke unhealthy stress and anxiety. Instead, give your child space to make mistakes and help them through with positive support that leads them to discover the right solutions. Show your child that you place high value on academic performance by staying involved. Attend curriculum nights and parent-teacher conferences. Encourage your child to discuss their classes with you. If they need extra support, work with school counselors to be sure they're getting help, including identifying any learning differences and engaging tutors as needed. Finally, talk to your child about the high standards that colleges place on the best grades possible, continuing to emphasize homework standards and good study habits.
Determine A Realistic College Budget
One of the most difficult things for a parent to do is to tell a child "no" after they've been admitted to their dream college. But this scenario is fairly common, mainly because well-meaning parents "don't want to limit" their child, so they do not set financial boundaries up front. With the lack of experience teens have in large financial decisions, you can and should set healthy parameters around budgets early, ideally before your child's college list is even started. Let your child know how much you'll be contributing, and how much in loans you feel they can take on personally, if any. Help them think through covering any required costs outside of school, such as travel and entertainment. Discussion around these details can also become a motivating factor in students pursuing better grades and scholarships. Be careful not to discourage your child from applying to expensive sticker-price schools without further investigation. Many times the true net cost of more expensive schools is actually less than seemingly affordable schools after all scholarships and aid are taken into consideration.
Contribute To Your Child's College List
Although parents should avoid building their child's entire list of colleges, it is beneficial for parents to make a few suggestions for schools to add, especially at the outset when your child is building their "big list" of colleges to investigate. If your child is struggling to get started on their list, parents can help the student work through their thoughts by asking narrowing questions, such as:
- "Do you want to consider schools that are close to home, within driving distance, or farther?"
- "Do you think you'll prefer a school that is situated in an urban city, a suburb or rural area?"
- "How small or large do you want your school to be?"
- "What 2-3 majors do you want your school to offer?"
If your child cannot answer these basic questions to help them pare down their list, it's a sign they likely need to get on a few campuses to understand their preferences.
Kicking Off The College Search Through Tours
The college decision can be so overwhelming for both parents and teens that we see families who stall out and haven't toured a single college at the time applications are due. This is a mistake, as touring colleges is the best way for students to get a feel for what college attributes matter to them, and what types of colleges should be on their list. We tell our families to begin touring schools as early as Freshman year. Since students often are intimidated at this age, parents can help out by making tour reservations starting with schools close by, or schools you will be close to when traveling. With the first few tours, it's okay to visit schools that aren't necessarily on your child's list. At the early stages of their college search it's just important to get your child on campuses so they can start comparing their likes and dislikes between different types of programs and campuses. If in-person tours are limited, such as during COVID restrictions, this can also be accomplished by setting aside time on weekends to tour schools virtually.
Application Assistance
Just like with your child's college list, you should avoid taking control of your child's college applications. However, you can support your child through the application process by:
- Helping establish a system for keeping track of deadlines: There are multiple deadlines throughout the application process for every school. Helping your child create and maintain a system to track deadlines is a great way to stay involved without overstepping.
- Creating time and space for filling out applications: Set a time when you both agree to be available to sit down and fill out applications. Ideally, that means you're in the same room simply standing by, in case of questions. But, if your child is experiencing more anxiety around applications, you may need to sit next to them for reassurance as they complete each step of the process.
- Proofreading for errors and accuracy: Once your child has completed their application, but before they submit it, it's a good idea for parents to read through each item, checking for errors and typos. Have your child correct any mistakes directly, rather than doing it yourself.
- Filling out financial aid forms: Completing any required financial aid forms is one of the most important items your child needs from you to get help paying for college. Even if you believe your child may not qualify for government aid, many colleges require the FAFSA and CSS forms for other types of aid, such as merit scholarships.
Bring On Extra Support If Needed
With so many deadlines and hoops to jump through for every school, both parents and children can get overwhelmed and stuck throughout the process. A private college counselor, like a RingTrue coach, could be a wise investment. Our college coaches can simplify the process, reduce stress for your family, and help your child find several best fit colleges where they will thrive.
Don't Forget ... This Is Supposed To Be Fun
With all the stress that comes along naturally with college admissions, including all the anticipated changes to your lives, it's easy to lose sight of the positive journey your family is on. Try to remember that your child should be more excited about their future than scared or anxious. Loosen up and throw in lots of lightness and fun while you're spending time together touring, researching and applying. Provide your child with lots of extra love and support while they're receiving admissions decisions, and making their final decision. Remind your child (and yourself) that deep down, they absolutely have the self-knowledge, experience and instincts to make the right decision for themselves.
Needing a little extra support for your family throughout the college admissions process? Learn more about how a RingTrue coach can help.
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